I see a bad moon rising,
I see trouble on the way.
Don’t go out tonight, ‘cuz it may just take your life.
There’s a bad moon on the rise.
The results of the 2024 election devastated me. I have voted in presidential elections before, and sometimes my candidate didn’t win. That is always disappointing, but this was more than that. This election took away any and all hope I had for this country.
This especially hits hard for a neurodivergent, or anyone else with a “disability.” (Some conditions are labeled as disabilities that really shouldn’t be, but in this context that isn’t important.) There is an image from 2016 showing future president Trump openly mocking a disabled journalist. (I’ve mirrored it below.) I don’t think I need to elaborate on what that says. For an ablest like Trump, people with physical disabilities, and those of us who who fall on the neurodivergent spectrum, are little more than a joke and a nuisance. His cult tends to follow suit, and currently they hold most of the reins. The next two years, at least, are going to be difficult.
I wanted to expand more on how this second election of Trump might affect the lives of neurodivergent people, through the changes he wants to impose. But when tried to write it I became so upset that I had an emotional meltdown. The topic filled me with so much hopelessness, anger, and frustrated rage that I found myself largely incapable of discussing it.
So I’ll look at that emotional reaction instead.
There are many accounts of how neurodivergent people have difficulty regulating their emotions. A stressful situation, for example, may compel us to run from the situation. Over excitement may cause us to start acting frantic, or suddenly need to go somewhere quiet. Something very sad or traumatic may cause us to go into a prolonged crying fit. Or worse, cause us to completely shut down.
What causes this? A psychiatrist or psychologist could probably give a comprehensive explanation, and if any of those are reading this I would like to hear it. But speaking only for myself, it’s like having to push something through a hole that is simply too small. Some actions create such a strong emotional response that the body isn’t able to contain it. A good analogy might be a typical household appliance being hit by a bolt of lightning: it’s going to stop working. Some of us develop “surge protectors” to protect and guard against such events. But those only go so far.
For me, the comprehensive set of events surrounding Trump’s second election were a blatant display of injustice, cruelty and hypocrisy that I didn’t think was humanly possible. When trying to write about it, I was unable to contain my emotions. I was trying to deal with them by writing things down. I had some luck on that front, and I might be able to continue later. But at the time, the torrent was fast, loud, and unrelenting. At one point I banged my head against the wall and made a rather impressive divot. Since my mood was adversely effecting my wife and daughter, (even the cat was disturbed), I ended up isolating myself and taking a short nap.
I’m remembering a problem my father used to have when the topic of his parent’s divorce came up. He was incapable of discussing it, or even really talking about it. He would usually get defensive and verbally aggressive, or he would silently close down. But he could never, ever discuss the effect the divorce had on him. Even when we tried to get him to break the issue into small, manageable parts, that didn’t help. He was unable to break it into small pieces. That issue was, for him, one large, unbreakable sphere of pure stone that would not and could not be broken.
Again, a professional would have a more comprehensive take on this. But my amateur observation is that there is more than one emotion in play when these log jams occur. Unfortunately, the various emotions are tied to one another and are tangled and interconnected like a jumble of hyperactive worms. Any attempt to isolate one facet of the issue ends up pulling many others into play before progress can be made. Different layers and undertones are always demanding attention, and in a way that can not be ignored, postponed, or regulated. The whole wriggling emotional mess has to be dealt with in its entirety, or not dealt with at all.
So, what do we do? I’ve been told that for neurodivergents, and in fact anyone with mental health issues, this type of emotional overload isn’t uncommon. Heck, I know some neurotypicals who have reactions on this scale. It may take them longer to reach a breaking point, but it still happens. Some of us deal with it better than others, and many of us have developed coping methods. I’ve had to start developing new coping methods, because the ones I used to use don’t seem to work as well as they used to.
Writing things down is one way. I often end up with a bullet list of key observations or points. Referring back to that ball of worms, as soon as I describe one worm I need to describe another one, and another, and another, and so on until my pencil breaks or I get writer’s cramp. But sometimes it helps. In a way, the emotional problem has been broken into smaller more manageable parts. Or at the very least, some major issues have been identified, and can be addressed when in a better headspace.
Meditation and breathing exercises, which I touched on in an earlier article, are another approach. The key here is to free yourself of distractions, especially ones that remind you of the offending issues. If you can do this, and spend a few minutes doing the Four-Seven-Eight breathing method, at the very least your pulse will return to normal.
I recently learned of another method, from an actual therapist. It involves drawing and tracing a figure-eight pattern on a piece of paper or tablet. After drawing the figure-eight, spend a certain amount of time slowly tracing the pattern, constantly keeping your eyes focused on your writing instrument or stylus. Use a timer if one is available, or, follow a set number of laps around the pattern.
In each of these examples, the two halves of the brain are being forced to work together, in a slow, repetitive task. When we go into an emotional meltdown, the mind has gone into a type of fight-or-flight pattern. The goes into a frenzy, ready to go berserk combating whatever it is that caused the reaction. Or, it goes into a cold, calculating pattern that can generate some pretty gruesome ideas and even worse actions. It depends on which half of the brain takes control; neither one is good for us. Using one of these three approaches will force the mind out of such a pattern. The combination of visual tracking, motor skills, and time awareness, serves as a sort of soft reset for the brain. This makes it possible to think clearly again.
Emotional meltdowns are difficult to live through, and can easily do serious damage to our lives and the lives of those around us. So if you find yourself falling into an emotional torrent, try to take a breath and pause. Try one of the techniques described above, or if you have of another method that works for you, use that. But above all, don’t fall too deep into the darkness. It can be very difficult to crawl out of later, and rarely does anything to solve the core issues. It’s important to keep a level head, especially in these chaotic times.
Stay safe, everyone.
For all of you neurodivergents out there, do you ever have moments of emotional overload? Does the current state of affairs in the United States fill you with anxiety, or any other strong emotion? And if so, how do you handle it?
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